Just a Little Bit Swampier

in

Would you like to get an audience with El Trumpo's inner circle?

Look no further than the benefits awarded to those who fund El Trumpo's inaugural committee.

"Donate" a cool million, and check out all those benefits!

  • An intimate dinner for 4 with the Pences!
  • 8 tickets to meet the ladies of the first families.
  • 8 tickets to the "Victory reception".
  • Hell, 8 tickets to everything! It's a blowout sale here! Candlelight dinner with Trump & Pence. Concert and fireworks! VIP parade tickets! Premier access to the inaugural ball! Attending the swearing-in ceremony! And most importantly, you or your corporation will be recognized on select printed materials. (This way, the rest of us know who to blame.)

Oh, did I fail to mention that Trump's hotel is one of the ones on offer for the "Select Inaugural Hotels" for these packages? The ones that don't come included?

I'd say I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, but really, I just think that the US is.